Incommunicable memories trudge along,
Walking on, I wonder where I belong,
Earth is not paradise, limit is not the sky,
Above that, in the world beyond, I am going to fly.
But are things what they ever seem?
I live on with a dead dream.
Pain is the horizon, the sky has turned blue,
The morning will cry with its dew,
But the leaf will open, flowers wish to bloom,
Hoping to dispel the surrounding gloom.
The thought of such life makes everyone gleam.
And i survive with my dead dream.
The moon cries as the stars break,
Life feels futile when all is at stake,
But i survive holding wishes fragile,
Shedding tears beneath the dazzling smile.
It hurts as it touches me- the sun's beam,
I move on with my dead dream.
Raindrops falling gently on the grass green,
Waiting, But a dream fulfilled I've not seen,
Holding onto fragments I create a form,
That shall be shattered again by the storm.
Moving away form the past, time, itself, will not redeem,
And i walked ahead with my dead dream.
Hopes have been stamped on, its all mud and blood,
Wishes have paved way for the pain full flood,
There are people around me who don't understand,
I have done nothing and time has slipped like sand.
Within, i can now hear an everlasting scream,
And i smile on with my dead dream.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
A song for my Sire
My heart is like a lyre,
With millions of chords strung o my wooden frame,
I'll compose the best music for my Sire-
Music that kindles fire among the hearts of many men.
I'll compose a tune unheard, that is not quite the same,
Same as other tunes that evoke love and shame.
Sire, is God whom i trust,
He who is above all dirt, above all lust,
He is the God that is loved by me,
Although he is the one i cannot see.
I feel his presence in everything
I am and what i will be,
I'll compose a music of gratitude to Thee
That will reverberate in land and in sea,
In mountains and dale, in gardens and lea
I'll play the chords with my nimble fingers,
I'll hold the chord till the music lingers,
So that it will reach to Thee.
With millions of chords strung o my wooden frame,
I'll compose the best music for my Sire-
Music that kindles fire among the hearts of many men.
I'll compose a tune unheard, that is not quite the same,
Same as other tunes that evoke love and shame.
Sire, is God whom i trust,
He who is above all dirt, above all lust,
He is the God that is loved by me,
Although he is the one i cannot see.
I feel his presence in everything
I am and what i will be,
I'll compose a music of gratitude to Thee
That will reverberate in land and in sea,
In mountains and dale, in gardens and lea
I'll play the chords with my nimble fingers,
I'll hold the chord till the music lingers,
So that it will reach to Thee.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Transition or Revolution?
For the past eighteen years I have been seized by countless questions. My existence. Why do I live? Does anyone need me? Where is my life headed? Will anyone love me for who I am? Questions, so many of them. Then one day God sent me all the answers.
I saw him standing there with a smile on his face. That very moment something inside urged me to delve deeper- into his eyes, his life. I judged that he is the shy kind and I will have to take all the initiative. As he shook my hand I felt something, couldn’t locate where, didn’t understand why. When he spoke I never paid attention to what he was saying, just heard his voice. The voice of a stranger, yet so familiar. I felt a desire poking at a corner in my heart. A desire unrecognized, but a desire. I wanted to know him better, spend more time with him. My heart skipped a beat when I asked him out for a movie and breathed a sigh of relief when h nodded in consent. The day was next Sunday.
I waited for Sunday like the dry lands wait for rain. I often wondered what we would be talking about. But in my heart of hearts I new that we’ll do just fine and day will turn out perfect.
Sunday came. Everyone said my gait had assumed a more of a “hope, skip and jump” character. Was the alacrity in my heart showing on my face? That day I seriously considered what I should wear and spent a couple of minutes more in front of the mirror. I completely ignored the fact that my mother was glaring at me.
There he was, standing where we decided to meet. For the first time I organized my feelings for him- cute and adorable. I spent the whole day with hating the fact that time was slipping by. I wanted to walk very close to him. At one point in time, when watching the movie, I really felt like resting my head on his shoulder. But I was hesitant, we had been together for just a few hours and he seemed absorbed in the movie to the extent that I felt kind of neglected. (By the way, the movie was The Hulk) He was far more interested in the food. Even after all the not so, chivalrous behavior I was attracted to him, to his magnetic being and I disliked nothing that he did.
Then came the time when I had to say goodbye. I felt a pang in my heart and something pushing the back of my eye balls. Those were the best nine hours of my life.
I waited for him to call me each day but reality betrayed my expectations- he didn’t. I was never angry but definitely sad. The old feelings of desolation and lonely existence enveloped my being. Though solitude had been intrinsic to my life, I didn’t want to accept it. The flame of hope was flickering and reality was blowing too strong on it. The date of his departure back to Tumkur came and went. Lost I locked up my feelings and put them on a remote shelf.
Normal day- nothing out of the ordinary- expectations at an all time low. I was sitting over the evening tea with my mother and my cell phone rang. Strange number, I thought. I answered it…..IT WAS HIM. I didn’t speak. My voice was choked with happiness. I was plain and simple ecstatic. I had a grin pasted on my face for the next 3 days. And the grin has now been metamorphosised into a permanent smile. He is yet to win the world but he certainly has won my heart, my life, my whole existence. And the day when he will win the world is not too far away either.
But my mind has not ceased to be the genesis of questions. Is he a magician? How does he have such an overwhelming impact on me? What makes me love him so much? Why do I trust him so much? What makes him different? Why does life seem hollow and meaningless without him? Why do I love him so unconditionally? Do I deserve him? Looks like God still has a lot of answering left to do. However, the fact remains, I love him- truly, deeply, madly. More than anyone, more than anything, more than my own life.
I saw him standing there with a smile on his face. That very moment something inside urged me to delve deeper- into his eyes, his life. I judged that he is the shy kind and I will have to take all the initiative. As he shook my hand I felt something, couldn’t locate where, didn’t understand why. When he spoke I never paid attention to what he was saying, just heard his voice. The voice of a stranger, yet so familiar. I felt a desire poking at a corner in my heart. A desire unrecognized, but a desire. I wanted to know him better, spend more time with him. My heart skipped a beat when I asked him out for a movie and breathed a sigh of relief when h nodded in consent. The day was next Sunday.
I waited for Sunday like the dry lands wait for rain. I often wondered what we would be talking about. But in my heart of hearts I new that we’ll do just fine and day will turn out perfect.
Sunday came. Everyone said my gait had assumed a more of a “hope, skip and jump” character. Was the alacrity in my heart showing on my face? That day I seriously considered what I should wear and spent a couple of minutes more in front of the mirror. I completely ignored the fact that my mother was glaring at me.
There he was, standing where we decided to meet. For the first time I organized my feelings for him- cute and adorable. I spent the whole day with hating the fact that time was slipping by. I wanted to walk very close to him. At one point in time, when watching the movie, I really felt like resting my head on his shoulder. But I was hesitant, we had been together for just a few hours and he seemed absorbed in the movie to the extent that I felt kind of neglected. (By the way, the movie was The Hulk) He was far more interested in the food. Even after all the not so, chivalrous behavior I was attracted to him, to his magnetic being and I disliked nothing that he did.
Then came the time when I had to say goodbye. I felt a pang in my heart and something pushing the back of my eye balls. Those were the best nine hours of my life.
I waited for him to call me each day but reality betrayed my expectations- he didn’t. I was never angry but definitely sad. The old feelings of desolation and lonely existence enveloped my being. Though solitude had been intrinsic to my life, I didn’t want to accept it. The flame of hope was flickering and reality was blowing too strong on it. The date of his departure back to Tumkur came and went. Lost I locked up my feelings and put them on a remote shelf.
Normal day- nothing out of the ordinary- expectations at an all time low. I was sitting over the evening tea with my mother and my cell phone rang. Strange number, I thought. I answered it…..IT WAS HIM. I didn’t speak. My voice was choked with happiness. I was plain and simple ecstatic. I had a grin pasted on my face for the next 3 days. And the grin has now been metamorphosised into a permanent smile. He is yet to win the world but he certainly has won my heart, my life, my whole existence. And the day when he will win the world is not too far away either.
But my mind has not ceased to be the genesis of questions. Is he a magician? How does he have such an overwhelming impact on me? What makes me love him so much? Why do I trust him so much? What makes him different? Why does life seem hollow and meaningless without him? Why do I love him so unconditionally? Do I deserve him? Looks like God still has a lot of answering left to do. However, the fact remains, I love him- truly, deeply, madly. More than anyone, more than anything, more than my own life.
Friday, February 2, 2007
I Am...
I Am....
An architect: I have built a solid foundation and each year I go to that school, I add another floor of wisdom and knowledge.
A sculptor: I have shaped my morals and philosophies according to the clay of right and wrong
A painter: With each new idea i express, I paint a new hue in the world's multitude of colours.
A scientist: Each day that passes by, I gather new data, make important observations and experiment with new concepts and ideas.
An astrologer: Reading and analysing the palms of life and each new person I encounter.
An astronaut: Constantly exploring and broadening my horizons.
A doctor: I heal those who turn to me for consultation and advice. And I bring out the vitality in those who seem lifeless.
A lawyer: I am not afraid to stand up for the inevitable and basic rights of myself and all others.
A policeman: Watching out for others welfare. I am always on the scene preventing fights and keeping peace.
A teacher: By my example others learn not to make the same mistakes.
A mathematician: Making sure I conquer each one of my problems with the correct solution.
A detective: Peering through my two lenses, searching for meaning and significance in the mysteries of life.
A jury member: Judging others and their situation only after I have heard and understood the entire story.
A banker: Others share their trust and values with me and never lose interest.
A hockey player: Watching out for and dodging those who try to block my goal.
A marathon runner: Always moving and ready for the next challenge.
A mountain climber: Slowly but surely I am making my way to the top.
A tight rope walker: Carefully and stealthily I pace myself through every rough times making it safely on the other end.
A millionaire: Rich in love, sincerity and compassion.
Most important: I am Me.
An architect: I have built a solid foundation and each year I go to that school, I add another floor of wisdom and knowledge.
A sculptor: I have shaped my morals and philosophies according to the clay of right and wrong
A painter: With each new idea i express, I paint a new hue in the world's multitude of colours.
A scientist: Each day that passes by, I gather new data, make important observations and experiment with new concepts and ideas.
An astrologer: Reading and analysing the palms of life and each new person I encounter.
An astronaut: Constantly exploring and broadening my horizons.
A doctor: I heal those who turn to me for consultation and advice. And I bring out the vitality in those who seem lifeless.
A lawyer: I am not afraid to stand up for the inevitable and basic rights of myself and all others.
A policeman: Watching out for others welfare. I am always on the scene preventing fights and keeping peace.
A teacher: By my example others learn not to make the same mistakes.
A mathematician: Making sure I conquer each one of my problems with the correct solution.
A detective: Peering through my two lenses, searching for meaning and significance in the mysteries of life.
A jury member: Judging others and their situation only after I have heard and understood the entire story.
A banker: Others share their trust and values with me and never lose interest.
A hockey player: Watching out for and dodging those who try to block my goal.
A marathon runner: Always moving and ready for the next challenge.
A mountain climber: Slowly but surely I am making my way to the top.
A tight rope walker: Carefully and stealthily I pace myself through every rough times making it safely on the other end.
A millionaire: Rich in love, sincerity and compassion.
Most important: I am Me.
In love with you
As the rain comes down on my nostalgic mind,
Pictures race past and thoughts fly by.
You come to me, dont know how, dont know why.
You touched my heart and the memory doesnt die.
I broke free from the shackles of pain,
and i danced my heart out in the rain.
Not a single prayer is complete without you.
When you play in my mind, I am out of the blue.
Thank you for everything you do.
My sorrows are rendered sweet, for this love is so true.
I dont love you on Fridays- but each hour, each day.
Gonna love you till eternity, come what may.
Its hard to fight the longing and desperation.
This strange feeling in me repells so strong.
Dont want to part, though heart-breaks are in fashion.
Wanna relive every hour of compassion.
Even death cannot do us apart, no matter how far you are from me.
I'll face every storm, break all norms and love you till immortality.
i can feel the ecstacy and the heat.
I can hear my own heart beat,
Coz i think i am hopelessly in love with you.
Pictures race past and thoughts fly by.
You come to me, dont know how, dont know why.
You touched my heart and the memory doesnt die.
I broke free from the shackles of pain,
and i danced my heart out in the rain.
Not a single prayer is complete without you.
When you play in my mind, I am out of the blue.
Thank you for everything you do.
My sorrows are rendered sweet, for this love is so true.
I dont love you on Fridays- but each hour, each day.
Gonna love you till eternity, come what may.
Its hard to fight the longing and desperation.
This strange feeling in me repells so strong.
Dont want to part, though heart-breaks are in fashion.
Wanna relive every hour of compassion.
Even death cannot do us apart, no matter how far you are from me.
I'll face every storm, break all norms and love you till immortality.
i can feel the ecstacy and the heat.
I can hear my own heart beat,
Coz i think i am hopelessly in love with you.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)